Author: Andrew

The California Sober

The California Sober

Abcarian: Is “California sober” a real thing, or just an excuse to keep getting high?

Last August, one of the more high-profile members of the marijuana legalization party, California Assembly member Phil Ting, posted the following comment on Facebook:

I would really like one of these. I am going to start calling it the “California sober.” The way it works is, they wake up in the morning, smoke weed, and then work together until 3pm. Then they go to their apartment and smoke again. Then they go out and have dinner. Then they try to go to sleep by sleeping between work sessions. If they miss a day, then they call their sponsor to get another bong. After a two-hour session, they call their sponsor again to tell him they are coming. He will drive them to work for an hour, and then they have to drive home for two hours, since driving is the hardest part.

This might sound like a great idea for a night out with friends, but then a sober California Assembly member would be the first one to tell you that it’s not quite as simple as that.

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A good friend of mine used to say “if a person is a Democrat, be a Democrat.”

For those of you who aren’t surprised by this revelation, let me explain.

The California Department of Alcoholic Beverage Control licenses bars, restaurants, nightclubs, clubs, and the like that sell alcoholic beverages. These businesses are regulated by the California Alcoholic Beverage Control Division (ABCD), which reports to the ABCD Office of Administrative Law Enforcement or, as it is commonly called, The Little Sisters of the Poor.

The Little Sisters of the Poor are the liquor license holders for the entire state. Most of the Little Sisters are small liquor store owners with no criminal records.

The licenses for these liquor licenses are good for five years, so in theory you can get a liquor license and open your business, be a responsible adult and use it to support yourself and your family without fear of prosecution.

A good friend of mine who is a big teetotaler went to a “Sober and Abstained” party at a bar with a group of friends, and he ended up getting totally wasted and had a panic attack

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